(lessons from) my volatile wiper

But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth -
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.
(Isaiah 43:1-7)

So. On Tuesday I had an OT appointment for an interview at 7.30 p.m. in Subang. I should have left earlier, perhaps…because at 6.30 it started to rain. And OH BOY did it pour! A little worried that I would be late for my appointment, our editor offered to lead me to Subang using a shortcut she knew. She also noted that its not always jammed going to Subang when it rains.

She was right! To my great surprise (I have to endure the LDP every.single.day – yes, that includes weekends – the LDP is our Bangkok) it wasn’t that jammed. By the time we got on the Federal highway it was pretty clear and cars were zooming past, all probably thinking “I’d better get home quick, before the jam starts!”.

It would have been better, maybe, for me at least, if it WAS jammed…because suddenly my wiper stopped working!

Rain was pelting on my windscreen and I felt paralyzed – “I’m WILLING it to move, but it’s not moving”. I couldn’t see a thing! I prayed “Lord! Help! I can’t stop the car now, but at the same time I can’t see where I’m going!”. Suddenly I felt a HUGE SPRAY, like the Niagara Falls was falling on my car. I had unwittingly passed under a flyover and the rain water was spilling down from it! My screen cleared for awhile.

I was supposed to meet my interviewee, Dr. Kumar at Taj Curry House. I had no idea where that was and Dr. Kumar had said “near SJMC”. As you probably know, SJMC is NOT SJMC anymore. Now it is “Sime Darby Medical Centre”. So, instead of calling anyone to check, I decided to consult my “state-of-the-art” Blackberry GPS – which very confidently pointed to Puchong!

Alamak! But…my wiper is not working…how??? I contemplated calling off the appointment, but Dr. Kumar had come all the way from Banting to meet me. I just didn’t have the heart. Insanely, I decided to go on to Puchong even though I could not see a thing.

The sky grew darker and whatever blurry vision I had of the road before disappeared. Soon I was literally driving blindly…all the praying, “GOD let me not bang into a divider! Or another car! Or fall off the highway!” and then thinking, “oklah…if I go Home to Jesus today, that’s ok. That’s ok, Lord”.

Guess my time wasn’t up yet, God still has work for me to do here. I saw an Esso station out of my side windows and headed towards that. Upon reaching, I turned off the engine, wiped my windscreen and THEN called Dr. Kumar again.

Me : Dr. Kumar…the restaurant is in Puchong ah?
Dr. Kumar : PUCHONG??? No! It’s right opposite SJMC, now Sime Darby.
Me : *Slaps forehead*

Before starting my car again, I prayed for my wipers, and they came back on (and is working today…don’t know why they failed that time) and made my way back to Subang, where I was at the beginning.

The incident showed me some things about God and my relationship with Him. Even though I WAS NOT smart not to double check with Dr. Kumar about the venue, instead relying on my GPS and that ended up with me being in such a scary situation– it taught me that God is able to turn any situation for good, and in this case, for me to learn something about Him.

Later that night, I read about God delivering the Israelites out of Egypt. (you can read about that here). Reflecting on previous events that day, I could only draw the conclusion that God is faithful, forever, to His people. His people at that time, were the nation of Israel.

But today, because Jesus Christ has died for our sins so that we too can experience God’s love, we are His people. He is relentless in His love for us and forever faithful to us. May we be as relentless in our love and faith for Him.

***I know “volatile” doesn’t really fit, but, I couldn’t find a better word that starts with V!

A is for…Ah Ma, I miss you.

Now and then, for the most part of yesterday I found myself wondering what to start this A to Z blogging challenge with. I kept thinking “A is for Ah Ma Teh Bok Nee”.

Ah Ma was my paternal grandmother. I tried to find a picture I took picture I took with her when I was little, at a church camp in Golden Sands, PD to put up with this post– but I couldn’t find it. But I don’t need a picture to remember her. I remember everything about her.

My Ah Ma was a gentle kindly old lady, as gentle as a Nyonya could be. She took care of me, my sister and our cousin Colin for most of our young lives. She had short curly hair that she constantly dyed as it greyed and small smiley eyes. She wasn’t fat as some old women are because she’d had to work very hard to bring up her five children, but she wasn’t small either because when her children grew up they loved her and gave to her, just as she had given to them. Among her brothers and sisters, she was always highly respected and whatever she said was law, because she was very wise.

She always smelled like talcum powder and I liked leaning on her because she was soft. Her earlobes had big holes in them because she had worn heavy earrings as they did in the past. She always told me that I looked nice whenever I wore red or pink, those must have been her favourite colours. She would call my house every Tuesday and chat with whoever picked up the phone.

My earliest memory with her is of me fighting with her and pulling the gold necklace she always wore around her neck because I didn’t want to get on the school bus to go kindergarten. I also remember her threatening to rub chilli on my eyes because I had been naughty and wanted to play with a boiling kettle of water. She eventually did, rub onions on my eyes, because I played with an electrical plug and got myself electrocuted.

I remember her making me her special maggi mee, where she used a wok to cook the noodles, instead of a pot. I would ask it from her all the time. She knew what I liked to eat, and always tried to cook my favourite dishes for me. She would make me luncheon meat sandwiches in the mornings, to eat before I went to school and a cup of milo. When my mom passed away and I went to live with Ah Ma, I remember always feeling safe whenever Ah Ma was around.

On evening in 2001, Ah Ma had just taken a bus from Melaka and was waiting at the bus station for someone to pick her up when a motorcyclist snatched her handbag. The impact caused her to fall and she hit her head on the curb. She fell into a coma and three days later she died. It breaks my heart knowing that I never got down to sharing Christ with my Ah Ma and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. Maybe He would have revealed Himself to her. She was such a good person.

We all miss her. The other day at a family gathering/karaoke session, someone picked the song “Lagenda” by Sheila Majid. Ko Chik (small aunt) wept singing the song, she said it reminded her of Ah Ma.

Ah Ma I miss you. When you left, I sat crying at the foot of the stairs staring at the chair where you used to sit and droop off to sleep, knowing how much I would miss seeing you do that. Ah Ma, we are your legacy. You taught us to be kind to everyone, no matter how they looked or how much money they have, or even if they were unkind. You taught us to work hard and value family, that as family we must always look out for each other. You taught us that the true value of a person is not in how much they earn, or what they know or don’t know, but in they way they respect other people, in the goodness of their hearts and in the kindness they show, even to the least deserving.

The song “Lagenda” might have been written as a tribute to Tan Sri P. Ramlee. But when we sing it, we sing about you.

Sejuta bintang di angkasa
Sinarnya mempesona
Sebutir bintang di taman seni
Cahayanya berseri
Biar bertahun masa beredar
Satu wajah satu nama takkan pudar

Tetap jelas di ruang mata
Setiap gerak gaya
Bergetaran merdu sinar
Di persada budaya
Hingga kini menjadi sebutan
Tetap terpahat namamu di ingatan

Kaulah satu satunya
Di antara berjuta
Insan teristimewa
Patah tak tumbuh lagi
Hilang belum berganti
Kerana kau tersendiri
Kau kebanggaan kita
Kau budayawan bangsa
Engkau lagenda

I’ve found myself in You

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might
Know Your majesty?

Is Your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I've known marked
With my Maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You

'Cause all You are is all I want. Always
Draw me close in Your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with You

Can I feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You
Capture me again
Let the earth resound with praise
Can You hear as all creation lives
To glorify one Name?

Good morning, sunshine :)

I ♥

Travelling on a bus at night.
Stopping at rest stops in the wee hours of the morning.
Sitting in an airplane as it takes off from the ground and as it lands.
Snuggling up in bed with a mug of hot coffee and a good on a rainy day.
Having dinner al fresco in the evening, just before the sun sets and it’s windy.
Cosy home-cooked dinners with my best friends and jazz music playing in the background.
Swings.
The sea.
Hotels.
The way libraries smell.
All kinds of flowers.
Zoos and aquatic parks.
Sleeping in.
Breakfast.
Taking walks when it’s windy.
CHRISTMAS!
Cold, rainy days.
Cendol on rainy days.
Quiet day-offs.
Camping and river hiking up to the waterfall.
Lakesides.
Picnics when it’s not hot out.
Kittens :)
Cranberry muffins.
Talking to Mr. God while watching the sun rise in the morning.

;)

 

♥

How was your day, sugar?

Home.

Fuh. It's been a full day man. One activity after another, only stopped for chicken rice - very nice :)

But I'm glad to be home. This is what it's like to be home.

Sometimes its a bit too much. Run here, run here. No time to stop, think and be alone, not like in uni. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love it here! I love the sights, the sounds, the smells, the taste of PJ. PJ tastes like cranberry muffins.

Though I guess once uni ends (and with it, Kajang will end for me too), I would have to learn to create pauses for myself, because pauses are really good. One should not do without pauses.

LYPG today was awesome. We continued the plowing work, it's not over yet. But we're getting there! I can just feel it...we're getting there! Soon! Soon! Keep it up, comrates. Don't back down! Press on! We'll see it in no time.

Went for Joshua Chua's birthday party, and I'm really glad we did.

Happy Birthday Joshua!

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He cause His face to shine upon you, and give you peace :)

FY is getting married next week! The First among us! Congrats! Wowwow!! :) Exciting!

7 days to Raya! Better makan puas-puas while the Ramadan Bazaars are still in town. After that we'd have to wait a whole year!

Lord I'm amazed by You, how You love me.

One night, I dreamt I was walking along a hillside with Jesus. The weather was perfect, the sky was blue and the air was cool; and Jesus and I were walking hand in hand, talking like the best and oldest of friends. We stopped at a tree with some big rocks under it and sat down, still talking. Jesus was listening with great interest to the things I had to say. Halfway talking to Jesus, I looked up and saw in a distance, someone I knew. All of a sudden I felt a sudden compulsion to run up to that person to talk to him, and so I did. But, while telling that person what I felt I had to so urgently convey, I felt convicted and with my head hung I went back to Jesus and said "Lord, I'm sorry for running off like that, it was so rude of me". Jesus looked at me, and said "It's ok. Come, let's try again".

So we got up from our rocks, and continued on our stroll, walking and talking as we had before. As usual, I did more of the talking, hardly allowing Jesus to say anything. But He listened patiently, and paid great interest in what I had to say.After a short while, I looked up, and was again distracted by what I saw - a friend in a distance. And just as before, I felt a sudden urge to run up to that person, thus again interrupting my conversation with the Lord. And as before, halfway, I realized my rudeness and went back to Jesus to apologize. As before, He said, "It's ok. Come, let's try again".

The scenario repeated itself again and again. I would run off suddenly and run back to Him in repentance and He would say "It's ok. Come, let's try again" Each time I ran off, Jesus would stay where we were, waiting for me to come back.

After some time, the day turned into evening, and the sky had grown dark. I noticed this while talking to the friend I had run off to. As before, I went back to Jesus, but this time knowing that our day together was drawing to an end, I was grieved and cried "Lord, I'm so sorry. Please teach me to be undistracted!". At this, Jesus looked at me, and loving me unconditionally, despite everything that I'd done, He said "It's okay. Let's try again tomorrow".

====================

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour

God of all majesty

Risen King

Lamb of God

Holy and Righteous

Blessed Redeemer

Bright Morning Star

All the heavens shout Your Praise

All creation bows to worship You

How wonderful, how beautiful

Name above every name

Exalted high!

How wonderful, how beautiful

Jesus Your Name

Name above every name

Jesus

---------

Lord I'm amazed by You, how You love me.

G'nite, sugar

When I start eating like this, I know it's coming.

It's been the First Week. And I've been getting a lot of exercise, brisk walking around the campus looking for lecturers, trying to take just the right subject at just the right time because my class times keep clashing, because I'm taking too many subjects.
Much thanks be to Father in Heaven for letting me take the subject I really wanted to take. I almost didn't get to. But nothing is too difficult for my tycoon Dad up there. :)

Meeting my old friends again - the used bookstore and Nescafe cafe - has been greatly comforting. I shall hit the pool soon.

While cleaning out our mini-room on Monday, I found a dead cockroach under my bed. It has been there, dead, for so long that when I tried to sweep its (yech) rotting shell onto a dustpan with a broom, it quite literally just fell apart. There was nothing left of its body to hold its head, feelers, legs and (shudder) wings together. I am still trying to recover from the fact that a cockroach has been decaying under my very being for a WHOLE SEMESTER!!!

Urgh. *Shudder.

===========

We (Mich and I) have changed the decor of our mini-room. We've arranged our beds and tables to form a square and we now have a small space in the middle where we can put a rug and dance about, or sit down and talk nonsense if we wanted to. So much space for activities! This is what I call optimizing space; and I can't imagine why we didn't think of this arrangement before!!!

Mich says it's because we were "saving it for this year".

We have some new neighbours too! Some of them are pretty dodgy, though. The ones living next to us are ok - nice, quiet, respectful boys studying at the vocational school near here. The ones staying in the lot opposite to ours, however, keep waving at us (they can see through mine and Mich's windows into our room). It doesn't help that our windows are pretty huge. So now we keep our curtains drawn most of the time.
Because of them, I was at first a little apprehensive to hoist my colours, if you know what I mean. But then I thought to myself, "why should I let a couple of itchy, bored boys keep me from wearing clean underwear?!". At present, our room is as colourful as ever. :D

So, I've reached Friday (phew!). And to think it's only been the first week! As He has been reminding me over and over again during the holidays; I gotta hold on tight to the True Source, to Him, Jesus.
He will carry me through
Until the battle's done
and the victory is won
My God will carry me through.

Things are moving pretty slowly. Slow like snail. But maybe sometimes slow is good. Good is steady. Steady is snail. Slow is steady.
Slow and steady :)

Haha.
Well, hello weekend! I've waited a whole week for you!

-------------------------------------------------

He said, "G'nite, sugar". Hehe :)

A new beginning.

"...the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes". (Psalm 118:23)

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
"Blessed be Your Glorious Name".

some new and old things.

It's durian season now.

There's a whole longgok of durian in a sack from Suateng downstairs. I can smell them from here, but I haven't touched any. I've been waiting, wanting this, Durian Season, since February. But now that it's here, I find that I don't really want it anymore.

It's funny how that happens, isn't it? We imagine something to be thoroughly amazing when we don't have it, even adding in our own 'bits of nice' to it, but when we have it for real, we find that we're unable to truly menghayati because we've used up everything on the imaginary.

My Papa tells me to "Learn to spend wisely".

In recent times, Sue Ann, Stephy and I went on a food fast, and then on a food fest in Seremban, Melaka and then Kluang; where we had (no meals and then) many meals in a single meal. :D
Many thanks to God, Colin, Makkoh, Cathy, Tim, Jules, Wai Yan, Isaac, Paulus, Joan, Joy, aunty and uncle Lee and Abigail for making it all so memorable for us :) We shall do it again!

Lydia + Li Yit = LyYit or LiDia soon. Boy oh boy, do I love weddings!! :)

Am currently waiting still (I almost always am, aren't I?) may it be for not too much longer ...anyhow, I bet I'll learn treasures from this. Am slightly nervous; so please Lord, teach me to trust You more and cling on to that trust, or rather to You.
And to you
Who are waiting too,
Be of stout heart, Dear One
Because I know; if I were to know anything it would be this : That He loves us and He will walk us to the end, wherever that end may be.

Everyday conversations

p [i] n g. says:
my pimples getting worse la :( :( :(
Schmae says:
stop touching it!
sue yin says:
yea stop touching it!
sue yin says:
wanna go for facial anot?
sue yin says:
yea, he looks kwai lo
.p [i] n g. says:
yar..nice nose!!
.p [i] n g. says:
i want nose job.hahahah
Schmae says:
...

This is what I've had to put up with the past 14 years.

So help me God.

I draw my life source from the River of Life. Jesus said "Drink, and you'll never thirst again".

Teach me to wait.

And please, oh please
let me hear You teaching me to wait.

I cling to the Cross
and everything it means
I know its the only hope there is for saving me
for without Your great Mercy
I would be forever lost
with a thankful heart I come
and cling to the Cross.

Time again.

I always notice the time.




















I thought it was Saturday already because today (it's now Friday in the 2.38 a.m.) I woke up at seven a.m., which is something like eight hours earlier than I normally do. And then just now at 2.28 (now it's 2.39), it felt like TWO days have passed instead of one, felt a lot longer than it usually does.

I really should start waking up earlier.

The highlights of the day were :

• The dodgy transaction was quick and painless (Thank You, Lord)
• Mak Yee and I met up for diluted Japanese Green Tea and Nyonya food, which was great (both the meet up and the food. Definitely not the green tea tho. yech. Don't go to O*iental Cra*ings)

Mak Yee :)

bold.

Something in my heart is burning like a fire;
"I want to live for You"
Need Your touch right now, fill me with Your power
"I want to live for You, my God"

I will not be moved
I will stand for You

I will go where You send me
Jesus take me now, I am Yours
I am Yours
I lay my life on the altar
Everything I give to You alone
Here I am

I love You, Jesus, because You first loved me.

Just like old times.

Joseph and Shannon came over with a LOT of McDonald's for a good time of catching up. (And to celebrate my long past birthday).

Haha. Thanks guys :)

Look! the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world!

King of my life
I crown Thee now
Thine shall the glory be
Lest I forget Thy thorn crowned brow
Lead me to Calvary

Lest I forget Gethsemane
Lest I forget Thine agony
Lest I forget Thine Love for me
Lead me to Calvary.

O Mighty Cross, Love lifted high
The Lord of life raised there to die
His sacrifice on Calvary
Has made the Mighty Cross
A tree of life to me.

To my beautiful Saviour,

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all majesty, Risen King
Lamb of God, Holy and Righteous
Blessed Redeemer, Bright Morning Star

All the heavens shout Your Name All creation bows to worship You
How wonderful, how beautiful!
Name above every name, exalted high

How wonderful, how beautiful!
Jesus Your Name, Name above every name
Jesus

I will sing forever:
Jesus I love You, Jesus I love You

I love You, Jesus. I really do. There is no one like You.

You and me

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Chinese New Year

Is about family






























































Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. (Anon)